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| blah. |
[Tuesday the 8th, 09.24AM] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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kids talking |
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this is me wishing you into the worst situations.
bad night.
school sucks
chiodos show tomorrow.
blah.
<3
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| The note book |
[Tuesday the 1st, 02.52PM] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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Coheed and Cambria-Welcome home |
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I watched the notebook today, i swear the movie was made for me. Im reading the book too.
Allie: They fell in love, didn't they?
Duke: Yes, they did.
Young Allie: Now, say you're a bird.
Young Noah: If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
Allie: Do you think our love can make miracles?
Duke: I do.
Noah: Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.
<3
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| halloween! |
[Tuesday the 1st, 02.50PM] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Jack's Mannequin- Im ready |
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yesterday i drank with all my friends on halloween. I LOVED it. I missed my friends, i need to stop being a home-body and get out and drink and do things im not supposed to!! Halloween was fun, i miss being a little kid I wnated to dress up real bad.
<3
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| blah |
[Monday the 31st, 12.33AM] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Counting Crows-Meet Virginia |
] |
Didnt do much this weekend. I got a job at hinge friday night, im waiting for them to call. I worked saturday and made 30 bucks. I went to the call it quits show and got pictures from that. And now I'm here boreed and sad. Septa went on strike.... my life is over.
<3
My awesome picture taking skills... sike [atleast they didnt come out horrible`]
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| rawrrrrrr! |
[Thursday the 27th, 10.35PM] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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my american heart-how dirty boys get clean |
] |
my life has become a boring pop song...
and everyones singing along
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| Ahhh! |
[Wednesday the 26th, 09.18AM] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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silence. |
] |
So basically I hate school and I miss my boyfriend.. not much new.
I did have fun last weekend drinking with ashley, kate, and sara, and walt. I didnt get drunk though I only had like 3 beers. I dont really like drinking that much anymore, on occasion its okay I guess. Maybe I'll drink this weekend cause I'm hanging out with sylvia, I'm excited I missed her a lot.
I still have to put up pictures from new york. Im lazy sorry.
<3
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| new york <3 |
[Sunday the 23rd, 10.58PM] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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finch- letters to you |
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omg@!##@$ new york was awesome!! Ill put up pictures later!! awesomeness!!
<3
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| <3 |
[Thursday the 20th, 11.14PM] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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Le Tigre-Hot Topic |
] |
effyoumySNbroke: did you read my lj?
Alexisonfire730: i read my part : )
effyoumySNbroke: aw good
Alexisonfire730: im soo glad i make you feel like that..that all i want is you to bee happy : )
effyoumySNbroke: well im deff happy!
Alexisonfire730: im happier : )
effyoumySNbroke: no way mister
effyoumySNbroke: i cant wait to see you tomorrow im gunna kiss you like a bizillion times!
Alexisonfire730: yessss
Alexisonfire730: im gonna go to bed though..im pretty tierd
Alexisonfire730: but um
Alexisonfire730: i sooooo
Alexisonfire730: cant wiat for tomorro night
effyoumySNbroke: okay nighty night and i cant wiat either!
Alexisonfire730: soo i cant get kissed a gazillion times
Alexisonfire730: can
Alexisonfire730: *
effyoumySNbroke: hehe
Alexisonfire730: i lvoe yuo babe
effyoumySNbroke: i love you too
Alexisonfire730: aww really thtsas cool and all but i love you more than that
effyoumySNbroke: no way!
effyoumySNbroke: i so love you more
Alexisonfire730: psh
Alexisonfire730: nope
Alexisonfire730: i love you
effyoumySNbroke: i love you too
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| my naked soul exsposed |
[Wednesday the 19th, 11.52PM] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
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music |
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Armoor for sleep- The truth about heaven |
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so Its been a couple days since I updated Its either because I'm
1. lazy
2. haven’t been In school since Monday
3. am way to cool to tell you what I did lazy
so I was fighting with my mother because she hasn’t realized that I'm a 17 year old girl that only wants to hang out with her boyfriend and friends and doesn’t care about school because she thinks life’s to short to care about x's and y's and dead presidents and wants to have fun during the week and weekends. but my mother thinks I should be locked up In my room with text books and a drawing pad [only so I can get into college (art school)]. But she needs to realize that I don’t really care about that stuff. So we got into a big argument about I don’t care about my future and I said Ill care about my future when It comes as of now my biggest worry Is getting up at 6:00 and making It to the bus stop on time, and not get Into a fight In school, and make everyone else happy. And she also said that I do nothing for her but I am the only person In this family that does stuff for her. She asks me to do something and I do It right away and give her no lip about It, I even let her walk all over me when she ask me to do one thing after another. I just say yes and do, not like a normal teenage who rather fight for a half hour about It, I just do It. And some times Ill forget to do one thing and god forbid my parents do anything I mean like they tell me all the time Its their house, well then they can clean It. I don’t mind doing stuff for my parents I mean that’s what I was born for, to do things for them. But when they say I do nothing for them they really cross the line because Its bullshit, that pisses me off more then anything. But I guess me and my mom are on good terms as of now, at least until I forget to do something for her.
So I haven’t been In school since Monday. I'm surprised how I manage to keep my grades A's and B's. I think the things I need to learn In life that Ill learn them on my own. When am I ever going to use a graph In my life. I don’t think Ill ever go to the super market and In line start drawing a graph about food and money. I know basic math and I'm pretty good at It, like right off my head I can do math, I've never gone to the store and thought to myself, "okay If I have x amount of things and 10.00 I can get this many things" that’s ridiculous I'm never going to use that In my life. And history okay Its good to know about wars and stuff but ask anyone that has a mandatory 4 years of history If they remember anything. I don’t plan on using history In my life I don’t plan on joining the army or got to any wars, and I don’t plan on becoming a great leader, I don’t need It. All I really need In life Is to learn how to draw and I don’t even know how to draw that good art nowadays Is so In depth that a line on a paper could mean so much to one person. I know my drawings suck but their mine I mean they came from my head they mean something real to me, and no one sees art the same way. I also want to get In to photography even though no one understands my pictures but Its something that peeks my Interest. I just cant WaIt to get threw school and pass with average grades and then go to art school.
So me and Walt lately have been having some deep conversations and their amazing. Like tonight we had a conversation about us and I wanted to cry I held It In to the best of my ability. He Is so amazing like I never had these feelings about anyone ever and I know I never will feel this way with anyone, no one can make me feel how he does. He just knows what to say and he just knows how to make everything better. No matter how crappy I feel and I just see him I just like don’t care about anything. I think I am a bad girlfriend, no I know I'm a crappy girlfriend. But whenever I tell Walt about this he just makes me think maybe I'm not so bad. Tonight he made me feel so good about myself, which Is amazing cause I'm always not so happy with myself [low self esteem :/]. I love him so much like he says he loves me more but no way could this kid love me more then I love him. I am me with him like around people I have to act a certain way but with Walt I can be the real me and be happy that he loves me anyway. I could definitely try and be a better girlfriend, and I really try too. But one thing he told me tonight which made my heart melt was that we'd still be together even If we didn’t do the deed. That made me so happy, Its a plus that we do that but he would love me just the same even If we didn’t do It. Maybe that’s why I didn’t last with other guys, Walts special, I knew I would love this kid for the rest of my life. And I'm going to, no one will ever have such an Impact on my life like he does. Since I been with Walt I have been the happiest I have ever been In my whole life, I don’t even acknowledge other guys, I don’t even feel flattered anymore when guys try to holler at me I'm just like "nigga please, I got a man". I cant believe someone could ever make this much of a difference In my life, I feel like a total stalker or something but I love this kid with all my heart. I actually became a jealous, defensive girl. I don’t want no other girl to talk to my boyfriend he’s all mine. I know he will never leave me [I hope] but I still get jealous. I love how me and Walt can do nothing but have the best time. Like tonight we thumb wrestled on the couch for like a half hour and It was the funniest thing ever. I love how me and him can stay In all night and not have to be entertained, were entertained by each other I love that. I love him so much and I want that to stay like that forever.
I make my life so complicated when I have It so easy, but I cant help It. I have a good family that wants the best for me, I have an awesome and supportive boyfriend, I have a good group of friends, and awesome best friends [even though I haven’t seen them In forever :/], I just think to much about everything and need to stop cause I just worry myself.
So lately I been feeling like sick, I need to get my knee checked out I think I have water In there or something cause Its been hurting like before I had my surgery. I also been having a lot of asthma attacks lately which Is really weird because I quit cigarettes. The cold weather Is going to be killer on my joints I'm not looking forward to winter, not at all. I also have been having these crazy head aches. I think Its from my lack of sleep, I have been going to sleep at like 3 every night and been waking up at 6 and then doing It again that night. I use to sleep like 12 hours a night, come home and sleep then go to school In the morning. I just have the worst sleep habits lately and Its affecting my body bad :[.
I don’t know why I'm writing this no ones going to read all this but Its just a few things I needed to get off my chest, It makes me feel better.
Ps. I haven’t smoked a cigarette in 7 days, going strong!
<3
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| argghhhhhh |
[Tuesday the 18th, 01.13AM] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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my american heart-the keys to my organ |
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way to tired to type.
update tomorrow during school.
just a few things I'm going to bitch about...
1.my mother
2.school
and..
1. how cute my boyfriend is ♥
<3
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| its 9 in the morning. |
[Monday the 17th, 09.01AM] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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kids talking |
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yeah and I'm up. I hate school. I'm in design class right now and do nothing as usual. I'm so happy to be back in school can't ya tell! I hate it I only came to school today cause I wanna go out today and get my thrice ticket and to see Walt. This class is a joke i'm learning how to use phototshop, easy A I guess oh well. I'm excited about thrice now!! I need a job.. I need atleast 50 bucks for my i-pod and just regular spending cash. Maybe I'll go up to dunkin donuts and work with Becca. I hate growing up.
<3
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| girls about to get fighted, yo. |
[Sunday the 16th, 10.51PM] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Jack's Mannequin- Kill the messenger |
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dang yo my lime wire needs to be reinstalled bummmmmerr. I hope my songs don’t go away cause that would suck real bad. Ha never mind it was minimized haha oh I’m dumb.
but anyways I didn’t do much tonight just hung out with the hubby. We went and got sushi, MMmmm so good! Then we came home and watched football, then I went home.
highlights of the night:
1.towel-tap
2."its the middle of the month, this sucks, I’m gross." "you could have just said you had your period."
3.my dad not liking me having drunken anal sex [it was a dream, I don’t have anal sex lol]
reasons why I’m going to beat up my boyfriend:
1. if he says he’s ugly one more time I’m going to beat him up he darn well knows that he is the cutest thing on earth and I know plenty of girls that want to get on that but cant cause I’d beat them up. My boyfriend is so cute and so awesome and I love him so much and I think I need to tell him that more cause he shouldn’t say he’s ugly when he’s not that bothers me. SO.. Walt your are the cutest thing ever and don’t say your ugly please.
2. he talks to ugly girls
something I should confess:
1. I hate that my boyfriend talks to myspace girls.
okay I confessed... yeah it still makes me mad I’m jealous person sorry. but go talk to them whatever I know your not kissing them but still it makes me mad.
<3
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| beakseatkiss<3 |
[Sunday the 16th, 03.21PM] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Chiodos-All nereids beware |
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Yeah. that’s how I feel right now.
I'm slowly deleting my myspace... once again I'm sick of the people on there.
whatever.
big accomplishment:
I haven’t smoked a cigarette in 4 days.
some quote form some documentary my dad was watching "addiction is in your brain"
so if I can think cigarette are bad then I wouldn’t want them. I got this all figured out. I'm really quitting and for all you who say I can't eff you cause I know I can do it. I know I can!
<3
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| 1-800-babysitter |
[Saturday the 15th, 11.57PM] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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Hellogoodbye-Dear Jamie..Sincerly Me |
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So just got home from babysitting... not that bad. put a movie on and bed by 8 was fine with me. the rest of the night wasn’t much fun but me and my cousin got a kick out of playing with he snapping turtles... omg that was soooo funny and sooo much fun!! we were sticking stuff in the tank making them try and grab it very entertaining. those turtles were pretty evil!
then she read me a book about 20 guinea pigs and hurricanes.
actually the guinea pig one was read twice.
and then she said my boyfriend was a guinea pig.
Walter the guinea pig
then it was
Walter the whale
and
Walter the hamster
and
Danielle the donkey.
we had fun lol.
high light of my night:
Walter the guinea pig ♥
not so bright:
My bf repeating me
effyoumySNbroke: haha yeah
Alexisonfire730: haha yeah
effyoumySNbroke: don’t repeat me
Alexisonfire730: don’t repeat me
effyoumySNbroke: Walt!
Alexisonfire730: Walt!
Alexisonfire730: i love you more : )
<3
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| blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
[Saturday the 15th, 07.24PM] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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little kids talking |
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So I’m baby sitting right now and I must say it has been the most boring thing ever ever ever! Triplets, a three year old and a 10 year old. ah. what a Saturday night yeah! whatever though I’m an awesome niece so I do that ish for free. I’m an awesome girlfriend too cause I told Walt that he better go to the Valencia show then come baby-sit with me.. I’m so nice right?! Well my entertainment for the night besides airplane rides and spinning 50 pound kids around... three turtles doing the dirty. I’m on the
computer and I hear something banging on glass and I look over and in the fish tank three turtles going at it... funniest thing ever!! but the kids medicine is kicking in so I better put them to bed. for someone that hates kids their not that bad.
<3
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| i love my boyfriend he's what i need now <3 |
[Saturday the 15th, 02.51AM] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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By a boy-grapes and eggs |
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so woke up a little bit ago... couldn’t sleep :[ so I went down stairs and made tea... homemade chi.. ask about me! then I listened to my emery CD like 83763 times. I think its my favorite CD. then I tried to read my tea leaves... cinnamon got in the way. not like I know how to read them but I try. but now I’m about to read and go to sleep. babysitting tomorrow :/ it'll be okay since Walts going and Rachel might stop by.
favorite things [of the moment]
1. chi tea
2. emery CD
3. my bf [duh! that’s all the time]
<3
PS. I want to be in band anyone want to make one with me? I cant do anything but we can pretend to make music!
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| serious as a heart attack. |
[Friday the 14th, 08.39PM] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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hellogoodbye-shimmy shimmy quarter turn |
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so didn’t do much tonight since I wasn’t aloud out, I just sat on my computer for like 398758763 hours. yeah I’m an exciting person I know I know. I went in the hot tub today for the first time since like forever I liked it, be jealous. I also drew some ugly pictures... yeah ugly ones I don’t like them. I’m just going to go to sleep cause I have nothing better to do. ugh.
<3
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| fuck. |
[Friday the 14th, 02.15PM] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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music |
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Chiodos-No hardcore dancing in the living room |
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How bout my tooth hurts like a hoe and I'm going to rip it out? I didnt go to school today because I couldnt close my mouth, bet I looked pretty funny.
<3
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| <3 |
[Friday the 14th, 12.01AM] |
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mood |
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loved |
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music |
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Counting Crows-Cant find a better man |
] |
WalterGeorgecore: i love you
WalterGeorgecore: i loved our little nap you bed hog
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| time and time again |
[Thursday the 13th, 10.51PM] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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Counting Crows-Mr Jones |
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"so now that that’s over with what do you want to do tonight?" haha yeah. so maybe ill just beat up the gay guy so I can work at hinge, sounds like a plan to me. AND yes I like hinge a lot and I want to go every day cause I’m addicted to chi tea. and yes ill walk in the rain to go there! so i think i proved to Walts dad that I’m not anorexic and I do eat; tonight. then he yelled at me for eating HIS chicken. I hate eating in front of other people I don’t know why. a quote form an awesome movie explains it I guess... "Everyone likes to be alone when it comes out, I like to be alone when it goes in. Eating in the cafeteria is like being with 20 girls all at once taking a dump." yeah I’m a weirdo. but that’s the truth. So I heard some awesome news today!! Rachel’s brother might be moving out after Linda has her baby and when this happens their going to move into the fanshawl house and Rachel gets to move upstairs meaning she has her own apartment meaning I get to finally move out. our dream is actually coming true I get to move out by 18 and actually live on my own. I cant wait to grow up and its finally going to happen. Everyone’s so not ready to grow up and be an adult but me and Rachel cant wait we dreamed this up for so long before we were even "big girls" and its finally going to happen. When I was a kid I always wanted to be older and grown up and do things grown ups do like when I was younger I hung out with my brother because him and his friends were older and did older things. I just want to be an adult I’m so sick of being a teenager or kid. Like my mom says you have your whole life to grow up but I just want to skip over it and be grown up. I just want to move on with life. I’m so excited I cant wait its still a year away but I just cant wait.
so next thing on my list to do is find a job cause I need money, not really but I want it, got to save up. maybe ill actually try and keep it too! I got to find like a coffee shop near me to work at, that would be pretty awesome.
my one wisdom tooth is coming in talk about being a bitch. the tooth isn’t showing just the gum is overlapping my other tooth. gross right?
so lately I feel like your not happy, not all the time just sometimes. maybe we spend to much time together or were getting on each others nerves or something. i mean everything’s totally awesome i just feel like your not telling me something. its probably just me being dumb but you know you can tell me right?
<3
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